Happy Father's Day

I recently picked up Meg Meeker's book Boys Should Be Boys. (We have four of 'em, so I need all the help I can get.) Dr. Meeker makes the point that one of the things boys most want with their fathers is more time. Not "quality time" on our terms, but quantity time on theirs. That advice would have resonated with my late father, who is much in my thoughts today and every Father's Day. Here's a snippet from my 2006 eulogy for him in Catholic Exchange:

His generation of fathers hadn’t heard of “quality time,” but the idea would not have impressed him. He never contented himself with just fitting his kids into his schedule when it was convenient. He knew that being there for “crummy time” is what counts: the phone call at 3AM from a stranded child needing a ride home; the sobs of a son failing to make friends at a new school; the cries of an infant child whose fever will not break.

My father and I were at daggers' ends during my teen years. It was the usual stuff: I thought I knew everything, and he thought that yelling at me would bring me to my senses. Yet he was always there. I had my sights set on becoming a boxing champion from the age of twelve. When I was fifteen, I had a preliminary match against a much stronger fighter who I was going to have to fight again a few days later. I lost that first match — badly. That night, Dad found me retching in the bathroom, devastated. He said, “I know tonight was rough, but you have a chance to redeem yourself this weekend. You’ve worked too hard. Don’t you dare throw away three years like this.” He gave me the courage to go back for the rematch and win. It is one of my most cherished memories of my father.